Monday, June 15, 2009

Yesterday

I hope you will read the following even though there is no poker content today.

Twenty six years ago a beautiful baby girl was born to couple who already had one child a boy who was three years older. They subsequently had one more child another boy. We will call this girl C. C walked early , talked in sentences before she was 2. She also swam like a fish at the age of 2 . She could swim the width and then the length of the pool underwater. People would constantly pull her up thinking she was drowning but she just was a great swimmer. Her parents would put her in a swim club at the age of five and she swam for many years.

C while not a scholar student always got better than average grades and made many friends. In fact friends always came easy to her. She was a great kid and her parents loved her a lot. She was always such a happy, carefree kid.

This all changed when she was 14. She would be a sweet person one day and then suddenly be just a horrible person to her parents and brothers. She rebelled against any rules and would threaten to run away if she didn't get her way. She had also turned into a beautiful looking teen girl and the boys were noticing in droves.
She twice ran away to her friends houses for a week at a time when she didn't like her parents rules. In her grad year things changed back and C seemed to change back and that sweet girl was present again. Her parents were happy and put the last 4 years down to teen rebellion.

She graduated which in itself was like a mini wedding as all parents of teen girls know. Shortly after grad she met a great kid from Manitoba and they started dating. One day after complaining of not feeling well for a couple days her mother took her to the doctor. She was pregnant. Her parents while shocked gave her their support and nine months later a beautiful girl was born. We will call her T. C's dad had always said if any of his kids had children he would like one of the boys to have the same first initial as him. C decided she wanted her girl to have that initial too.The baby and C lived with her parents but her boyfriend was always over and was a great dad. Eventually they all got their own place and everything was great.This lasted for 4 years. They talked about marriage. He proposed and she accepted. Wedding places were checked out. Then it all fell apart. C decided she wanted to party and left her child and boyfriend. She at this time also had a falling out with her parents. Her boyfriend continued to bring T over to see the grandparents. He was a great dad. He continued to hope C would come back and her parents did too.
Eventually he decided to take T back to Manitoba as his family lived there. He broke the news to C's parents. They were heartbroken but understood. They knew T would be safe with him. What C's parents parents didn't know was that C was doing cocaine.

C a couple months later decided she missed her daughter, made up with her parents and decided to to move to Manitoba to be near her daughter and ex boyfriend. C's parents hoped it would work out. It didn't.

C then moved to Alberta met another guy and got involved in cocaine again. She spent thousands on it. C's parents had no idea. Then C seemed to snap out of it when she met another guy who evidently got her clean. They seemed happy and she got pregnant again. It was hard pregnancy and C at one point came back to live with her parents who gave her lots of support and love. She or so she claimed was bi polar and that's what she told her parents. After a couple months with her parents she was able to go back to her boyfriends and a couple months later another baby girl was born. She also called this one with a name starting with T. Everything seemed great. They got engaged, lots of pics were sent to her parents. She seemed happy.

It all fell apart two weeks ago or so her parents found out yesterday. She left her new daughter and boyfriend and went partying again or so her parents found out. Her parents also found out about her cocaine habit yesterday. They now realize how naive they were. They had last talked to her about two weeks ago and she seemed okay but tired as she had gone back to work or so she said.

Her boyfriend filled her parents in and wished he had told them earlier. He is looking after the baby and trying to work too. It seems C has ran off with his friend and is using again. C's parents are devastated and have no idea where she is although supposedly she might be in Colorado. C actually phoned her parents briefly yesterday but when asked where she was she wouldn't say and hung up on her parents when told she needed to go back to her daughter or she would lose custody.
C's parents didn't sleep much last night. C's parents had no idea about the drugs but now it explains a lot. C's older brother is getting married in 3 weeks. It's very unlikely that C will be there now and that's very sad. C's parents are waiting for the call that she has overdosed but hope it never comes. C's parents still hold out hope she will realize what she is giving up in her 2 daughters. C's dad loves her a lot but feels helpless.

You see C is my daughter. Somehow writing about poker today didn't seem too important. Hopefully I didn't bore anybody but writing about it has helped. Thanks for reading.

7 comments:

  1. DB-

    I am very sorry to read this post from you today. Know that you and your family are in my thoughts. I hope the next story about C is a good one.

    -ck

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  2. Really very sorry to hear this.

    y sister spent the ages of 20 to 30 addicted to dope and speed and whatever. Now, at 38 she is fine. She had to do it on her own. Both her children were born addicted to dope. Now both good boys considering.

    My niece was engaged to a really nice guy, he worked and earnt loads of money and they seemed to have a good life. Early last year she found out he was doing cocaine. Christmas day she left him, not just because of the drug but because he refused to do therapy, kept using on the sly etc. In about five or six years he had spent at least $400K on it. He said he took it because it gave him confidence. Now, he is in therapy and drug rehab. He has a long way to go. She had no idea at all about it.

    Just want you to know that you are not alone with this difficult thing. Even good and kind parents have problems with children. I wish you all the very best. Don't feel bad you didn't know. People who use drugs are very good at hiding it. They know it to be wrong, but the lure of the drug is so great they need to lie.

    If she has your support (not financial by the way) that will help her greatly. Every day I used to speak to my sister without judgement. One day I just said "Cathy, we are having the same conversation about your drug use that we had five years ago". She just dumped the friends, the partner, the lifestyle and went cold turkey. That was 8 years ago.

    Sorry for the long comment. I feel for you greatly. I hope you and your wife get through all this. It will not be easy. Best of luck.

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  3. Thanks so much Linda. I will always be here for her (emotionally) but she will need to want help. I hope that day comes sooner rather than later. Two little innocent girls need their mother but they need her as she used to be not as she is now. Thanks for taking the time to tell me your story. It is greatly appreciated.

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  4. Wow man that is rough. I hope she is able to get things back together.

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  5. @ SirWalgman.

    I keep hoping. Thanks for the kind words

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